18 September 2009 7:57 PM
BLOG TWO > Mmkaaayso, I really needah vent . . I've been so emo lately it's pisssing me off, I've been stressing about everything, school , famtings . All out of those stuff . . but yaaah, this morning I was bummy kindah ish to begin with cause of lastnight :/ so whateves, went to schoool it was whatver , first we watched a movie, paycheck I don't think I watched it before although it looks familar :/ idk , second & third - worked on my mannequin , I finished my shampoo, blowdry & iron , and my updo , i liked my updo, it was my first one I did and since I had no clue what so ever to what I was doing it looked pretty good : ) I took it all to one side, pined it up, took the hair and pined up sidebangs, and curled the back as well as two pieces on eachside of the front. And now I'm working on my metallic curlers, my teacher is making me do this next thing and she kindah expects more from me than some of the others because she said " I want you to do more than what I expect ,I want to see your creativity . . since your experience " I guess that was suppose to be a good thing? meh whatves, I'm almost done I have half of it to do. Fourth holy maaaaaan it was like booring to the extreme :/ shoot honestly today was the first thing that we did that was " religion" tell me how we watched a boring ass movie about credit cards , and debts and shit, like f'real who really cares ? ugh whateves, I swear more than half of the class falling asleep if not they did. And so since Kevin was being gaay he left me : ( lol , stupid bitch was talking to Kadeem & his teacher , then whateves I did my usual and talked to Jmarie for a bit. Then went to my locker , and Kevin's is in the same hall and the loser was changing, he felt nice cause I was there, but ew ! lol . I was waiting for him cause we go to his locker, then mine, then downstairs and met Jersey , but dumb Kevin I think he had detention or whatever and his teacher saw him , so obvi he had to go , whateves I went to my locker, and I had to leave so I couldn't wait for him . Got in the car and bam ! right away I get annoyed, like holy it wasn't even 5 minutes, they were going to wal-mart or whatever , and I didn't wanna go so they dropped me home .I got home , ate, watched tv , and slept till like 5 or something. I thought maybe sleeping would've helped overcome the 'emoting' ? but it really didn't it was pretty gaay, I dislike it . . so I wake up laying on my bed just thinking about everything, and what I really want, and what I still want in my life y'know ? then my mom comes in and she told me she bought me minutes, thanks mamaduukes ! I didn't load them right away just cause . . but yaaah, she was talking and stuff about the halls and what not because of my debut, so yah clearly I'm having one >.< I kindah do, but then again I kindah don't , I don't know, and like that's another thing bothering and stressing me right now, like shit yo it's so much planning and what not, yaah I know it's all worth it at the end because it always is . .or at least most of the time, but then again meeeh I don't know what I wanna do with that. But yaaah, after my mom left I was still laying there, then I looked at my hand, and I wrote " NTS;FIGURE IT OUT ! " earlier . . and I really needah figure it out .. figure it all out ! like everything, but it's really hard, and stressing, and its pissing me off, it's so stupid . . honestly i wish i could just fall asleep one day and when I wake up I didn't have to worry about anything. But no , when you wake up from a nap. . you realize that it's just reality , and you have to learn to cope with all of this, yaah I'm not complaining about it and clearly I DO know how to handle things like this cause y'know . . if I didn't then I dont even know where or what I'd be doing with my life right now . & Then I started thinking to what
she was saying to me the other day , because we brought
them up , and what not. I didn't know what I wanted to do, and I don't know if the feelings are the same with
him because he sure isn't showing it again , but whaetver then again it got me thinking to what
she said about
him and how he makes me 'happy' , he makes me smile, he makes me do whateveer . . is that what I really want ? or is it just a distraction like what I've been wanting or asking for , LAKDJFLSGHSKFGUKEFNHASF ! I don't know what it is . . fml hard yo. Ugh Whatver fuck that I don't wanna get into that right now + the fact that if I do , I'd be here writing forever . Anyways , i loaded up my phone afterwards and it wasn't working so i called those gay people and they fixed it for me, also i should've fixed my phone/texts before when it first didn't start working i'm so dumb . . but whateves it's all working normal again (y) ... went downstairs, watched for a bit, and now i'm on this , bored as usual , Vanessa should be coming soon + I have to make my brother food. Toodles.
